Frankly speaking, I should have punched mself in the face much much earlier. That option had occured to me for a while and I let it slip past a couple of times.

I don’t know how far it can take me and I swear that this time round, I’ll do a good job. It’s almost similiar to the past one I had but I hope it’s as carefree as well. Maybe the pro is that it put me closer to them. I just hope things turn for the better. Or should I be contented with the current situation?

Today, I shall say I spent my last day with the kids. I wouldn’t be seeing much of them, maybe once per week. I will definitely miss them. And also to the lot at the mall. Well, they are my motivation. Time to put it in action.

Things are beginning to look bad. Or so.

Sometimes I feel like to just walk away from everything or find a hole and hide. I wanted so much for everything to end but it’s just a vicious cycle.

I do agree it’s my fault for the situation but I’m not enjoying it either.

I wish I could just jump in time like what I did in the past but I know it’s not going to happen.

Well, this is a rant and I just want to let it out. ^^

It’s pretty hard to put it through but those close to me will know that I feel I’m living in an adventure. You know those typical role playing games that you have to talk to non playable characters created for the world and you being one of the active players. It really occurs to me.

Firstly, when we don’t know about anything or need advice, we consult other people. Similarily, in a game, you talked to the NPCs to know where’s your next destination or advice. Then, people need jobs to earn money while you do quests to earn money in a game. Finally, challenges come about like seizing chances to promote, life decisions, financial management and of couse peer to peer communication.

The only difference is that you can’t re-roll or restart a character in real life. Once you create a character, either you keep it or you make some changes. Speaking of re-rolling, damn IAHgames to do a server wipe……there goes my summoner in Hellgate London… T_T